Just Hold Her
by DPIH
Summary: Set just after Lilly's encounter with George in the attic, Stillman has demanded that she take at least a week off and reluctantly she has accepted. Scotty stops by one night after work to see how she's coping


A/N: Set just after Lilly's encounter with George in the attic, Stillman has demanded that she take at least a week off and reluctantly she has accepted. Scotty stops by one night after work to see how she's coping.

Just Hold Her

Lilly was bored, totally and completely bored. She was three days into her forced time off and she felt like she was going stir crazy. She had attempted twice already to go back to work, claiming she had misunderstood the strict instructions that Stillman had given he, only to be dragged back home by the slightly tick off Detective who had told her in no uncertain terms if she came in again he would have her on desk duty till she retired. She had already read most of the books on her shelf, bought some paint to redo the spare bedroom and even had, had lunch with her mother, which had ended in disaster when her mother had shown up completely wasted, as usual.

She was just about to go for a walk around the block when there was a soft knock on her door. Walking over to it she opened the door and was greeted by a warm smile of her partner, Scotty Valens.

"Hey" He said smiling broadly

"Hi" Lilly replied "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?" she asked and he shrugged, drawing his coat more tightly around him.

"I took an early mark, thought I'd come by and see how you're doing" he said "Thought you might be goin' a bit crazy, not bein' at work and all" he said.

"I've been doing fine" she said "Got a lot of house work done" she said and her partner raised an eyebrow, indicating that he didn't believe her. "Okay fine, I've been bored outta my mind, happy" Lilly snapped and Scotty chuckled. "What's in the bag?" she asked, curiosity getting the better of her as she saw the plastic bag in his hands.

"Oh yeah" he said, suddenly remembering the bag in his hand "I stopped by Ma's, she thought you might want some of her chocolate chip cookies" he said "She always made em when I felt...well they always made me feel better, so I thought I'd bring em for you" Lilly lifted the lid of the box and inhaled the warm, delicious smell of the bake goods.

"These smell great" Lilly announced

"Yeah, taste even better" Scotty said "Err Lil?"

"Yeah" she said distractedly

"Do you mind if I come in? I am freezin' out here" he asked and suddenly realised just how cold it really was out there.

"Oh sure, sorry" She said and she stood back to let him in. "Want something to drink? Coffee? Hot chocolate?"

"Wouldn't say no to one o' those cookies" he said and Lilly giggled

"I thought you brought these over for me?" She asked

"Hey, you gotta share Lil"

Lilly smiled and rolled her eyes, holding out the box for him to take one of the gooey cookies out and polishing it off in a couple of bites.

"Yum" he announced around a mouthful and she laughed, she stepped closer to him and raised her hand to the side of his face.

"You, missed a bit" she said wiping the smear of chocolate away from away from his mouth. Scotty's heart skipped a beat as he felt her hand on his cheek and although the contact was minimal he felt heat pounding against his ribs.

"Thanks" he said softly, his eyes still locked on hers, Lilly cleared her throat and turned away from him. "So how 'bout that coffee" she asked walking away from him towards the kitchen.

"Yeah, sounds good" He took a deep shaky breath and followed her "So how you doin'?" He asked and he heard her sigh, he knew it was difficult for her to admit when things weren't okay. But he promised himself when he was driving towards her apartment. He was going to make her talk about it, whether or not she wanted to or not. Because he knew that keeping things bottled up, keeping things inside, like he's done when Elisa had died, it just leads to more pain.

"I really don't want to talk about it Scotty" She said harshly

"It doesn't do any good to keep things bottled up"

"Look who's talking" Lilly countered bitterly.

Scotty ran his hand through his hair and looked into her eyes "Look Lil, I know I ain't been the most forth commin when it comes to talkin things out but I am really tryin' cause I learnt its worse than keepin things inside"

Lilly poured a cup of coffee for herself and Scotty, sitting down at the table and indicating he do the same. "I keep seeing him" Lilly whispered "Every time I close my eyes, I see him. I haven't slept in days. I've been having nightmares Scotty and I know it's over, I know he's dead but I feel like he is still watching me"

She felt tears stinging her eyes, she fought them back because she wasn't about to cry in front of her partner. Scotty saw the sadness in her eyes and wished he could take away her pain; He reached across the table and took one of her hands in his.

"Lil...god I wish I could make this all go away" he spoke so softly and with such compassion that it warmed her heart. She looked across at this man, the guy who always seemed too instinctively knows when she needed him and knew when she wanted space. Sometimes even before she knew it, she came to realise just how much she depended on him, not only as her partner but as her friend to.

"Thanks Scotty" she said, looking down at his hands

"For what?" he asked and she looked up and met his eyes.

"For always being there" She said "Boss told me what you said to George"

"I meant it Lil, if he'd hurt you, I woulda killed him" he replied and she smiled at him

"I am so tired" she said softly

"Why don't you go lie down" he answered

"I can't"

"Well, what if I...stayed?" he asked softly

"What?" The look of panic that flittered across her face made Scotty regret saying anything. He tried to backpedal "What I meant was, I can stay here, on the couch, and if you have a nightmare or something than..." he trailed of and Shook his head "You know what forget about it, it's a stupid idea" he said and he released her hands from his grip.

"No, wait" Lilly began, sighing she closed her eyes and rubbed them. "I am sorry, I just can't think clearly"

"Why don't you go lie down" Scotty helped her to her feet and pushed her down the hall "And I'll be here if you need me"

"Thanks Scotty" she said again and she kissed him on the cheek, lightly grazing his lips. Blushing slightly and walked into her room and softly closed the door.

Scotty sank down on her couch and stared at the TV, Lilly had kissed him, okay sure it was just a peck on the cheek but still she had never done that before. It still felt as though her lips where on his cheek and he felt the familiar flip in his stomach. It was the stirring he'd get when he feeling for someone, the feeling that had made his heart beat a little faster, the feeling that made his palms sweaty and he was feeling them for his partner.

Sure he'd notice that she was gorgeous, he wasn't completely blind. But she was his partner; it would definitely be ill advised. But then again he hadn't had this feeling in a long time, not since Elisa.

Lilly lay on her bed, willing herself to go to sleep but all she could think about was that she had kissed him. True it was only a kiss on the cheek but when he moved slightly and she had grazed his lips...oh dear god, her heart raced and she got that familiar stirring feeling in the pit of her stomach. She couldn't possibly have feelings for her partner; she was Lilly Rush, the ice queen of homicide. The last person who would develop feelings for her partner.

The more she tried not to think about it the more she realised that it was all she could think about. She noticed the minute she met him that he good looking, his chocolate eyes and broad shoulders, dammit Rush she admonished herself. She rolled over and closed her eyes, pleading that she be able to get a few hours sleep, without picturing herself entering that attic.

Scotty leant back on the couch, absently stroking Tripod who had curled up by his side. He tried watching TV but he couldn't concentrate on anything but her. He had almost lost her that night, when she wasn't answering her phone he had that sick sense that something was wrong, he and Stillman had driven over to George's house. He remembered the dread that coursed through him when her phone was finally answered by George. All he could think about at that moment was if George hurt her he wouldn't rest until he had killed that bastard himself.

When he had heard that gunshot his heart had leapt into his throat, please let her be alright, dear god, please don't let her be dead. The minute between the sound of the gunshot and Stillman radioing down to tell him that George was dead, seemed like an eternity.

"Crap" he muttered, this was complicated. He started to wonder how she would react if he told her what he was feeling, but at the same time he was scared that she would freak out. He decided that he wouldn't tell her, these feelings would go away in time, he was just gonna have to ignore it for the time being because there was no way she would reciprocate.

Suddenly he heard something comming from her bedroom, it sounded like whimpering and as he walked down the hall towards her bedroom the sound grew louder and more desperate. He opened the door a fraction and stopped, she was lying above the sheets; she was tossing and turning, clearly in the throes of a nightmare.

"George...no please don't...don't kill me" she muttered and he saw tears streaming out of her tightly shut eyes. Crossing the room in a few short paces he sat down beside her and gently shook her awake.

"Lil, Lil wake up" Her eyes snapped open and she sat bolt upright, breathing rapidly, she turned around and spotted him. She all but collapsed into his arms, her body shaking as she cried on his shoulder.

"It's okay Lil" he whispered and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him towards her as if he were her life preserver and she was drowning. They stayed in each other's arms for awhile until she gently lifted her head off his shoulder. Wiping away a few tears off her cheeks "I am sorry" She said softly "I cried on your shoulder, god I am pathetic" Scotty shook his head and grinned.

"You ain't pathetic Lil, you've been through a lot lately" he leant forward and kissed her forehead. As he moved back their eyes met and Scotty swallowed hard, this was it, this was his moment and he wasn't gonna back out of this. He moved in again and to his surprise she move towards him as well, their lips met softly and first and as his hand moved to the side of her face she let out a soft moan.

Breaking away from her, he smiled at her; Lilly smiled back and wrapped her arms around his neck, toying with his ebony hair.

"Distract me" she whispered

"What?" he asked

"Kiss me"

"Are you sure Lil?"

"Yes, distract me"

Scotty couldn't believe this was happening; this had to be a dream. Any minute now he'd wake up and be on her couch. Scotty grinned and leant forward again, pressing his lips against hers, it felt so right and Scotty wondered why it had taken so long for them to do this. Screw the rules, he thought. Who cares if this isn't in line with department policy, he was completely and utterly in love with her and for the first time in three years, he was able to express his feelings for her.

Lilly feel back against the pillows dragging him with her, she had never felt this way before. The way he was kissing her, she didn't even think Patrick had ever kissed her this way, it was a kiss filled with such love and hope that it over whelmed her senses.

Lilly pulled away from the kiss and ran her fingers through his hair. "Your pretty good at that Valens" she teased and he chuckled.

"You're pretty good at it yourself Rush" Lilly pulled him back down and he grinned "Am I distracting you enough?"

"Definitely" came her breathless reply and she slipped her tongue into his mouth, Scotty met it eagerly with his own. He ran a hand down her side and she shivered with delight, bursts of heat radiated through her body from where his hands touched, pooling between her thighs. Then suddenly kissing wasn't enough, for either of them and as if comming to a wordless agreement the both began to remove the others clothing.

Lilly threw his tie across the room and started to slowly unbutton his stripped dress shirt. As he unbuttoned her blouse, his lips left hers and started to trail down her neck, pausing when he reached the creamy swells of her breasts. Looking up at her, his eyes filled with adoration he asked "Are you sure you wanna do this Lil? Cause I can stop now if you want" Lilly raised a hand and wiped a smear of lipstick from his lips. She sighed and nodded, if Scotty died now he would die a happy man and as he returned his lips to her porcelain skin, the sound of her soft moans were intoxicating.

Lilly skin tasted sweet, he knew at that moment he would never get enough of this woman. The way she shivered under his touch, the way she moaned in pleasure as he kissed her collarbone and the way she was running hands over his back, pulling him closer, made his head spin.

Lilly meanwhile, couldn't concentrate on anything else but what was happing in that moment. All thoughts of George were driven from her mind for the first time in a week. As Scotty unclasped her bra and took one of her nipples in his mouth she cried out his name.

Scotty's lips trailed down her stomach and tugged her pants down her hips and her breath caught in her throat. This was actually happing, she and Scotty were about to cross that line, the line between friends and something else, if you had asked her last night if she wanted to sleep with him, she would have laughed she would have denied it with everything she had, but now, now, dear god the way he was trailing his tongue back up her chest, between her breasts and planting a long luxurious kiss in the hollow of her throat, she had never wanted anything more in her entire life.

Scotty moved over her and she fumbled with his belt buckled, pushing his pants down his muscular legs. Now the only thing between them was their underwear, he made short work of her panties flinging them behind him. Lilly tugged at his boxers, and he chuckle in lusty amusement.

"Lil, um do you have?" he trailed off and Lilly smiled, running her hands down his chest.

"In the drawer there" She said indicating towards it with a nod of her head. He reached across her and pulled out a condom. Her eyes flittered down his body; she saw that he was indeed a very virile guy. Scotty saw the look in her eyes and frowned slightly "Is there something wrong Lil?" he asked concernedly.

Lilly shook her head and chuckled "Definitely nothing wrong" she replied and she raised her head to kiss his lips. He rolled on the condom and ran his hands down her side; sighing contentedly she moved her hips towards her, begging him to start already.

He took the hint and shifted his body over hers, sliding slowly into her. They groaned simultaneously and he waited for her walls to accommodate him.

"God Scotty, move" she panted, unable to draw full breath. He kissed her shoulder and buried his face in the side of neck as be began to move.

"Lil" he gasped

Scotty groaned and thrust into her harder and faster. Lilly clutched at his back, digging her nails into his back. The pressure began to mount as they rocked their hips in unison; Lilly felt her orgasm approaching and she tried to hold it back, not wanting this to end too early. Scotty returned his lips to hers, sliding his tongue into her mouth to massage her.

When Lilly couldn't hold on anymore she came, screaming his name and scrabbling at his slick shoulders. Scotty's eyes rolled back in his head as he felt her walls clamping around his length. He could feel his own release approaching, he fought it off wanting to make her come again. Scotty reached between them, finding her centre he traced his thumb over it.

"Oh Scotty" Lilly's breath was reduced to a series of pants and she clung desperately to him as she came again. Not able to hold on anymore, he came, gasping her name he collapsed against her.

"Holly crap" he whispered "That was..."

"Amazing" she finished and he nodded his head on agreement. He rolled off her and she pillowed her cheek on his chest. He drew the covers over them and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, he sighed happily and hugged her into his body.

"That was great Lil, I can't believe we just did that" he ran his hand down her arm "But you gotta know Lil, I don't regret what we just did. I think it's something that has been commin' for a long time and I am glad it happened, I want to happen again. I think I am in love with you Lil." He looked down at her when she didn't respond "Lil?" he said and he smiled, chuckling as he saw her fast asleep. Kissing the top of her head again he just held her as she slept, peacefully and without the nightmares, right through the night.

The End

A/n: Wow this is the longest story I have written so far, quite proud of myself. Please read and review.


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